On Colorado and Covers

This past week the news gave us all whiplash. The tragic events in Colorado cause me to question our mental health care support systems, relive some personal grieving and ache with the urge to comfort the hurt and the damaged. The best I can do is offer up spiritual support.  In doing so I know that I am doing a lot and that no matter what I do it will not feel like enough.

We can't let that stop us from offering our blessings, though.  To give in to the feeling of being overwhelmed is to spread the damage.  Instead, let us make our offerings, practice supporting others and know that when the damage is nearer, we will be that much more ready to support then.

It is only by giving more than we receive that we know the bounty of our Goddess.

In other news, I read about the campaign to join in and support those women who chose to take the veil.  These are not the women forced to cover by an oppressive society, but women who choose to cover their hair as a symbol of faith or thanks... or for reasons which are their own personal ones. because this link does not work as it did yesterday   http://coveredinlight.org  I include this address http://www.facebook.com/pages/Covered-in-Light-International-Day/444797368874444  to lead you to the Facebook page and see the beautiful group of proud women and their many supporters.

It isn't often that I hear about something so meaningful to me just as it happens, but the background of last week's insults to three different women wearing veils really struck me. As I was feeling helpless to support one group, I found a way to support another. As a woman who covers her hair for certain special events and as a woman in a liberated land, I am delighted to join with my sisters on September 21, 2012 and appear for the entire day wearing a hair cover of my own choice.

I was so proud when I mentioned this event at dinner to a friend on Saturday and without hesitation she replied "I'm in." before I even requested her support.

I am eager to put veils on the street and change the look of the world. I am eager for personal adornment to someday again be personal and not fodder for public judgement.

The December Dilemma

For us, the winter holidays are about all of the celebrations, not just ours.

Dear New Mamma,  I too live in an interfaith home, and I joined with my husband when my children were 2 and 4 years old. I am invited to speak every year on an interfaith panel in our area called "the December Dilemma".

In short, my choice was to build our spirituality all year, and our holiday family traditions around interior decorating choices that my husband and I discussed, but since I was doing the "work", I asked him to hold his comments until later in January when I would sit down with him and say: "so, how was that wreath for you? Did you miss anything from your childhood that we could add for our children?"

That way, he felt honored and respected and our holiday traditions could evolve. No on the spot conflict if I hung icicles and 5 pointed stars all over the dining room ceiling.

I would like to go outside and see this on my birthday!

When it came to other families- relatives or not- I fielded a lot of questions. My answer was always the same: No, my kids know what our beliefs are, seeing your practices (house, tree, egg nog, menorah) will not confuse them.

 This is no different than my birthday, which is December 23. I open presents whether they have no paper or Christmas paper or birthday paper. It doesn't change the giving. We graciously show interest and participate in anything anyone wants to invite us to or wants to share with us, we offer to share with others- the color of the paper does not measure your spirituality. In my opinion, spirituality has to do with your family's habits most of the year, little to do with the holidays.

I should note that the families I meet at the December Dilemma talk who have the worst trouble are controlling people themselves or have controlling visitors and families. the Jewish child who's Christian grandmother gives her a gold crucifix, the critical mother who gives ornaments to her non-tree raising daughter. I advise a response which is gracious, but not compromising one's beliefs as far as having a child wear jewelry not appropriate for them. I wouldn't let my daughter wear lacy lingerie as a princess dress if she were 5, no matter how pretty she though it was, but I wouldn't make a fuss at the family dinner. I would just say "How thoughtful" and put it in the car. Donate the jewelry to a convent and change your plans next year.

Hope your new family grows crookedly but happy. Be willing to do it wrong sometimes and you will have fun. the 4 year old is now 24 and she is lovely.

regards, Hawk